The problem with HIV is that you always think that you won’t be infected. Thinking that another one is going to get it is one of the handiest or unconscious defense strategies. If not for it , probably we would not have evolved. Imagine if we walk all the time thinking that a turtle is going to fall over your head. But HIV is a serious problem because the infection is rarely strictly random. A simple forgetfulness, carelessness, overconfidence can be the difference. The trifle of using a condom or not, just like that, and not so simple. Because at the exact hour it is probably we don’t have a condom, or the desire prevails beyond any consideration, or we say ourselves that nothing will happen for that solely time. And maybe nothing happens (many times nothing happened), but it can happen once and can be enough once to pass. HIV is not cancer. HIV is not Ebola virus. HIV is not a cold. HIV does not strike anyone. There is a simple way to avoid it: to abstain from sex. But for the vast majority of humanity that is a too high price. Nor should we regulate the sexual lives of others. A condom is the best method. Like it or not, it’s the best.
I know of what I am talking about. Some of my best friends, some of the closest ones are living with HIV; to the extent that this condition has become commonplace for me. I am aware of the effectiveness of dissimilar therapies. I know of diet regimes, healthy practices, counting T CD4 cells. I’ve dealt with crises and setbacks, some very serious. I have been concerned by the lack of a medicine, as if it lacked to me. And I was even witnessed the death of acquaintances due to AIDS, fortunately, none of my friends. Most of my friends HIV carriers have a full life, or at least sufficiently full. Clearly it is impossible to avoid occasional depressions, but even I cannot avoid them. Living with HIV has not limited them: they all are excellent professionals, all remain sexually active (with much more responsibility), and many have stable couple (carrier or not), all have plans for the future… We must overcome that prejudice stating that having HIV is the absolute end of happiness. It is a change, a dramatic change. But it can be assimilated. Now, one thing does not remove the other: it is not the end of the world, but it would be much better not to get infected.
Some people tend to prejudge watching from a supposed moral high ground. “If that happened to them is because they asked for it”. As if things were in black and white. Let me tell you something. When I entered college I had barely had sex. I was always a very shy boy. Havana opened up to me a world. I had my first boyfriend at 20. With him I had sex for the first time with a man. It was nice; it was very romantic, like a dream. When the time came there was no condom. He looked me in the eyes and said, “we should not do it, but I have many desires, are we going to stay with the desire?” I accepted without hesitation. A year later I had another boyfriend. And one day, the previous one called me, and very seriously told me: “You have to get tested; I just found out that I am HIV positive; chances are high that I already was it when we had sex “. It was a heavy blow. Why was that going to happen to me? It was just one time. My boyfriend was a nurse, and he arranged the test with great discretion. But I had to wait a month for the results. It was the worst month of my life. In the end it was a false alarm, but it was also a life lesson. Others were not so lucky. Now I know it: you should not tempt fate.
